When My Son Smiles

 

When I look at you
I see my past, present and future collide 
Years of wanting
And waiting
Meet sleepless nights and tired eyes

When I hold you I feel blessedly complete
All the years of aching emptiness melt away
And I know my heart will hold you all the rest of my days

Your laughter is food for my soul
Your tears cut me like the sharpest of blades 
I’d trade my life to give you a hundred thousand happy healthy days  
And fade away peacefully knowing you’d be safe 

Your touch on my cheek warms me as no fire ever could
And the look on your face when you gaze up at me- adoringly!
Makes me ache to be the person you see

I hold you cradled in imperfect arms 
And trace my finger down your soft cheek
Your eyelids blink open sleepily- more brown than blue 
And you look at me as if I have every answer you’ll ever need

A tear runs down my cheek to land on yours
And your small pink lips turn into a tiny bow smile 
And in that moment I know true joy 
For there is no pleasure greater 
Than the euphoria I feel
When my son smiles up at me. 


by Amanda M. Burns
For my son, 2012

© Amanda Saylor nee Burns. All rights reserved