Understand Me

 

 

I fear that you may be
Quite hesitant to understand me
The curtain’s been pulled over your eyes
For quite some time
I hope you buckle your seat belt
You’re in for a ride

Stand at the doorway of years that have passed
The silvery reflection in the mirror is me
I was bright and buoyant 
Despite the downward staircase

When I began to realize my condition was incurable
I began to stack the stones neatly one by one
Each painful step I took kept me moving
Despite the pressure urging me to fail

I began to bottle my emotions
And feelings I couldn't believe were coming from me
Pitiful shards of brutality
Depths of darkness where no light can exist

The walls were climbing higher
And the road was getting longer
Till I stayed missing from time to time

I found a flower on my journey
And it helped to ease my suffering
To know that I was not alone in my undoing
A mutual pastime for us wastes and fiends

A siren song was playing
So sweet the melody 
It told of peasants and ruling kings
And promised there was a hero waiting inside of me

So I look to the mirror
At the shadow that was me
Hiding in the bathroom
With teardrops filling my black eyes
Another dream so easily destroyed
By a reckless loss of pride

I took a stand
Decided I’d be in command of the voices calling me
And knew that there had to be something left to believe
Or someone to believe in me

Sometimes I see me
Long hair in a mess
So confused of where I am and who I am
And forgetting who I always was
Realizing that there’s no one who could understand me

Translate my smoky metaphors into substance
As I fight my translucent enemy
I dream, dream, dream
I lose, lose, lose
I’m a tried, convicted, chained fool

I’m lost and lonely in here
Between the doorway to the past and the window to the future
Unsure of which way I should go
And I fear
You might be rather hesitant to understand me.

By Amanda M. Burns

© Amanda Saylor nee Burns. All rights reserved