Still Breathing

 

 

My eyes were once bright
Dark Black pearls, coal stone embers
Burning with unquenchable desire
Full of joy and life
Brimming with so much frightening truth
Beyond normal adolescent thoughts

From deep within voices chime
Scream of almost forgotten events 
Experiences 
Never fully comprehending their effect and meaning
On my shallow
Insignificant 
Existence

Still breathing
Still moving
Though there are moments 
I wish I had the courage to end it all
Wondering, in full exhaustion
Why I fight so hard to keep this word
And for what purpose 

This insecure 
Unrealistic life
Full of broken hearts and overwhelming emotion
Condemning aspirations
Of going everywhere on nothing

Still breathing
Still moving
Pressing forward despite the rough terrain
The harder I try
The harder I fall
The further I climb 
The further I fall 
I fail and fail again
And I’m tired
Tired of it all 

I live for the small joys
I live because I’m human
Looking for my ultimate moment of serenity
Where for one perfect moment I’m happy
And I’m happy when I smell the night air around me
Crisp with the scent of falling leaves

Sometimes I look in the mirror
And see those old black eyes
Coal stone embers 
Still burning
Still moving
Still breathing. 
 

 

by Amanda M. Burns

© Amanda Saylor nee Burns. All rights reserved