Drug

 

I tell myself I can handle this drug
I’ve done too much
I’ve faced tough stuff
Surly worse hardcore defects 
Have passed across my lips
Why do I fear just one more swallow?
A hard gulp to send down just one more round

It’s not the physical pain that hurts me
It’s the pain on the inside
That’s leading my soul to shame
And I cry
Tears of pity for my life

It’s a sad thought
I shouldn’t be so unkind
In a depressed state
I don’t realize
It’s not so bad
It could be worse

It comes
The feeling of fuzzy release
Ease
I can handle this
I feel much love
Peacefully content
Closer to the most high above
A part of this grand cycle of live and die 
True poet for a dangerous muse
Searching for the ultimate line

What can I say before my words fade
And I can no longer write clear or contemplate
Only think and dictate the voices in my head
Repeating words I wish I had said
I leave you with a repeat
I think I can handle this drug
But I wonder when enough is enough.


By Amanda M. Burns 

 

© Amanda Saylor nee Burns. All rights reserved