Mommy can you feel the heat?
I’m burning
Please don’t be afraid
Nothing can be changed
I can’t be saved

I’m sorry, again
I’m not sure why

I love you
So you’re perfect in my eyes

Flaws can’t be erased
Only hidden or ignored

I’m scared too
Following the pain
You’ve been past it too
The old place where the bugs lived
Looks nice now
I almost miss it

From a distance
You watching
Thinking I don’t see you
When it’s me you do not see

Smoke clogging up my childish air
Lonely like angels 
I can only be seen by my own
She sees me mom
Why can’t you?
Am I so unbearable that you can look right past me?

You saw them
Perfect
What did I ever do to disappoint you?

I never hurt you
Always tried to please you
It was never enough
So I gave up

It’s so painful now
God, can't you feel me melting?
Mother, are you watching my failure?
Watch me burn
Watch me fry
Feel my pain
Mommy, did you ever wonder why?

 

 

by Amanda Burns

© Amanda Saylor nee Burns. All rights reserved